It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
