no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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