It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
