shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
as a side note pls kill me
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
