a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Randomize