Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
All I want is dick and wine.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I woke up under a house in Key West
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
