Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
