after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
