I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
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