you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
she smelled like a LAN party
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize