you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize