At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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