Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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