if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
