i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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