uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
