My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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