ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize