Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
