I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
