OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
