He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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