Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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