Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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