It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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