Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
