You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Oh god it's open bar.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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