Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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