my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
