Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I want to fling myself into the sun
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
