Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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