I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
