The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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