I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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