She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
