Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
i think my cat just said my name.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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