Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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