Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
