If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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