I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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