check it out our google latitudes are spooning
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
