I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
