Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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