my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
