how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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