i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
