i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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