Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
