Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
