...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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