my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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