i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
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