i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize