Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
whose parrot is this?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
