After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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