if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The best revenge is premature balding
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
