...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
