just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
