He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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