i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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